Delirious 23

Me (giggling): “Aaawww, gross. My jacket is soaking wet with sweat. Cat pee sweat. I am so disgusting.”

Mama D (chuckling): “Oh, I stopped sweating a long time ago. That was one of the control centers that shut down.”

Me (laughing harder): “HahahahahaOMGyes. Control centers. Shut down.”

Mama D (laughing): “I could wallpaper a wall with my mouth right now.”

Me (laughing while thinking): I have no idea what that means, but it’s funny, and I believe she’s telling me her mouth is really dry.

Now, friends, I know that there’s nothing funny about dehydration.  Not sweating is not a joke. Except when you are sitting in the car after running 23.27 miles (random number? Yes, you’ll learn why soon enough), it’s freaking hilarious.  It’s becoming painfully clear that when I start running beyond 14 miles, my thoughts become fragmented, sentences are difficult to form, names are are difficult to recall, a new kind of math happens… control centers definitely start shutting down.

brain out of order
Picture taken from:


That’s why we ran 23.27 miles today – bad mental math while running.  Here’s how the math went down BEFORE we ran:

5 miles around town while it’s dark + 8.5 miles out on the trail + 8.5 miles back on the trail = 22 miles (the goal for today)

Here’s the math when we started running:

5 miles around town while it was dark + 1 extra mile out in a different direction in town because it was still a little dark + 1 mile back toward the trail + 8 miles out on the trail starting at the trail head + 8 miles back on the trail not to our starting point + random .27 to make our way back to the car even though we were still on the trail  = 23.27

Maybe the GPS was off, maybe it wasn’t, but it doesn’t matter – I’m going with it.  It took us 4:25:40 and we kept an average pace of 11:25 per mile.  We walked every two miles to take a rest break, which worked out really great. The great news is, if we’re able to sustain that pace for 3 more miles during the race, we’ll be able to finish right around 5 hours.  I am really excited by that time goal because I thought for sure I’d be walking a lot of the race and finishing in 6 or 6.5 hours, which seems completely unsustainable (mentally).  But the math for today doesn’t stop there – check it out…

The Math on Our Fuel:

GU = energy

Homemade trail mix that included chocolate chips, Cheerios, sunflower seeds and pecans = energy + happiness (read: felt like we were actually eating breakfast)

We can safely conclude that GU < Homemade trail mix

More math we discovered on our trip through Crazytown:

(Screaming knees x 10) + angry calves + cat hallucinations + cricked up lower back = Miles 16-22

Mind Melt Mile 8* x 2 = Double Mind Melt at mile 16 (let the inside crying commence)… we conclude that Mind Melt Mile 8 x 3 will = the lowest point in the race at mile 24, but if we – (minus) the fear of not being able to finish because it’s so close to the end, we should be good.

*We actually call Mind Melt Mile 8 a different name, but we are keeping it clean for our kid readers. Just kidding, I don’t think we don’t have any kid readers, but we have our moms reading this so….just use your imagination by substituting the word “melt” for another 4 letter sentence enhancer that begins with the letter “f”.

Last math lesson for today:


Long story short, we did it and survived!  Aaaaaannd now, I’m completely spent.


– Mama K


About Soleful Mamas

Powered by sunshine and friendship, Soleful Mamas is half support group/half running club. Our tribe is committed to empowering women of all ages and abilities one mile at a time. We are committed to inspiring those around us to live stronger, healthier, and more confident lives through the power of running and adventure experiences. We’d love for you to join us!

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