“Can I light a candle and try to make a s’mores?”

“NO! No you can’t. No.” Exasperated sigh, “Just….No.”

Top 10 Reasons Why I Run (SPOILER ALERT: they have nothing to do with health and fitness):

1. The Pushers.  While it was a great attempt at being resourceful, I just couldn’t let them try to make a s’mores with a candle or do anything else with a candle and a match.

2.  The Wallpaper Peeler.  This guy taught me to never check my email after dinner in a different room.

Why I run1         Why I run2

3.  The Teenage Girl Child.  Here’s a recent love note I left on her door. It was not a good morning.

Why I run3

4.  The Lonlies. I would rather attempt a sub 20 minute 5K than endure the torture of matching socks for twice as long and still wind up with a basket full of singles.

Why I run 6

5. The Almond Dumper.  At least half a bag of those expensive little…. nuts. That’ll teach me to never brush my teeth in a different room before hitting the road.

Why I run 4      Why I run 5

6.  The Chef.  I love that my daughter has a passion for cooking and baking. And I LOVE bacon, but enough is enough. Everything she prepares is made with bacon or “bacon drippings”.  In this case, the “gravy” was made with said drippings.  I call B.S.  That gravy was all bacon grease (bacon grease that was solidifying as it sat on the table waiting for us to serve ourselves) and I had to eat it because I love her and I want to nurture her interests and let her explore.  But seriously, my hair smells like bacon, my clothes smell like bacon, my insides are slip sliding all over on bacon grease and it’s gotta stop.

Why I run 7

*She just walked in and saw this picture and said “Ew, what is that, mom?”

“Ummm, that’s your gravy… with fresh Rosemary…”

“You have to admit that was good, but I’m sorry. I’m sorry, mom. That looks gross.”

#mystomachhurts

7. The Mostly Naked Storyteller.  I love hearing all about a good time, but at some point listening to to one more story about the “Hemlock Maneuver” that was practiced for First Aid Night at Boy Scouts has me racing to the treadmill.  The talking. never. stops.

Why I run9

8.  The Reverse Plumber.  At least I caught it.  I don’t know how I knew this little lotion was in there, but this could’ve been so much worse.

IMG_1370

9.  The Chef…again…the mashed potatoes also had bacon.  Along with a lot of butter.  I think this is how the thought process went in her mind tonight. Can’t make s’mores over that fire? Meh.  Should I clean up all of the potato skins?  Nah.  Should I care that I opened up a whole can to use just 1 ounce of chicken broth for “gravy”?  Wait, mom didn’t get any ice cream at the grocery store last night…. *taps chin*  No problem.  I’ll just caramelize some sugar in a pot, make everything real sticky, and pour it all over some popcorn.  Then I’ll leave it all.  Forever.

Why I run8      Why I run 10

10.  The recharge.  All it takes is 20 minutes and I’m able to handle all that life throws my way….for the next 2 hours at least.  Sigh.

Breathe in.  Breath out.

-Mama K

About Soleful Mamas

Powered by sunshine and friendship, Soleful Mamas is half support group/half running club. Our tribe is committed to empowering women of all ages and abilities one mile at a time. We are committed to inspiring those around us to live stronger, healthier, and more confident lives through the power of running and adventure experiences. We'd love for you to join us! We want all Mamas to know that as you blaze your trail of awesomeness, we're with you every step of the way!

3 Comments

  1. OMG. Run Mama K- run as fast as you can! Good thing you caught the lotion- that little trick cost me $250 for a plumber when Vincent did it!! The shit eating grin on Wys face next to,the peeled wallpaper is priceless. You can tell he is very proud. Thank you for sharing and showing me that I am not the only crazy mama out there. The last 30 minutes of my life included: dealing w a stomach ache from eldest son bc he took too much ibuprofen bc his ankle hurt. So I say, You are only 15 yrs old- stop hurting things on your young self. That was sound advice. A 10 minute door banging tirade by daughter bc 8 year old won’t get out of shower bc he is crying bc he can’t breathe out of his nose. To be helpful, I started yelling at him to make him cry harder so he got more stuffy. Then I screamed at daughter for not getting in the shower earlier. Then she hollered at 15 yr old bc he was in the shower too long. Then he yelled back bc his stomach and ankle hurt. How is that for the definition of full circle. Now enter 10 yr old who is now crying bc a-hole stupid psycho dog bit him when he tried to pet him. And because I am a really good mama, the way I handled all of this was to yell, JUST GO TO BED all of you!!! Anyone out there up for a midnight run???

  2. grannysoles

    Granny here…where have I been? I’ll tell you later. Anyway, I smiled the whole time that I read this. You’ll miss this one day💕💕💕

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