Will I be completely unsuccessful in our upcoming events???
I’m trying. I really am. I wake up twice a week to go to the box but lately that’s about it. And then I have a wake up call. An activity filled weekend of lake swimming, paddle boarding, trail running, and hanging out with the kids has left me thinking “self, you are never going to make it through this triathlon and the Ragnar Trail race.” Poor sleep (staying up too late watching Investigation Discovery), poor hydration (too much coffee and definitely not enough water), and poor diet consisting of takeout and kid leftovers has left me feeling sluggish and really ill equipped for these events.
Take this morning’s 3 mile trail run. I loved it. I really loved it. I loved being out in nature, high-fiving low branches, and stumbling over rocks and roots as I got lost in a few meandering thoughts. But it sucked. It shouldn’t have qualified as a run because I really just tiptoed and tripped, and photographed my way on the path.
I felt slow and could barely keep my breath steady. I know our busy day yesterday and interrupted sleep with potty breaks and lost blankies contributed to this #craprun but I just feel like I should’ve been better than what I did especially after all that we’ve been doing the past few weeks. Oh, right. I forgot. I’ve only been running an average of 4 miles a week and barely making it to CrossFit twice. Swimming and biking have been non-existent from my “training”.
So there I had it. Alone with my ragged breath and slips and slides, I remembered why this morning was so difficult but I also remembered why I don’t need to feel nervous or completely unprepared for these upcoming events. Because these “things” that we do are for fun. I register purely to go on a new crazy adventure with my friends…..
And I can’t forget that I am strong. I am very able. I have build up enough mental fortitude to be able to have days and weeks like this and accept them. Accept them and know that my body is still capable of figuring out a way, any way, to make it across the finish line. Equally as important, I’ve gone through enough experiences that I can diagnose the problems and make adjustments. While I don’t take any of that for granted, I am thankful for the understanding that each crappy run, each awesome run, and everything in between teaches me something.
So I made a conscious choice (again- it’s almost a daily decision) to let go and give myself permission to enjoy the trail and those moments any way I wanted to. I knew I’d learn a new lesson or an old lesson would repeat itself, which it did – I need more water in my life; hydrate better and smarter.
Keep moving forward,